Atlantic Crossing - Part Ten

In the end I had done a complete about-face on the entire spa experience. Mel told me immediately that she can see very clearly, where the three rocks had been placed along my spine. Bright red. Not burnt crispy black like I had imagined. But quite red. Guess it was supposed to be that way all the while. I was able to check out the rest of the spa including having a sauna, then headed back to the pool deck and found Miss Mel still sleeping in the pod. She stirred and awoke and I gave her the news from the front.

I then told her I was off to the Apple Internet Cafe to try to figure out how to get the WiFi working. Well, as suspected, that problem was simply a matter of financing. Seems that you had to sign into the Silhouette's server first so they can begin charging you. They assign you an account and you buy WiFi minutes using your ship credit card. The more minutes you buy, the cheaper they cost. The smallest package was 75 cents (U.S.) a minute. The cheapest was 45 cents. I opt for 212 minutes at 45 cents each package.

Once understood, the rest was easy and I was up and running in no time. Checking e-mail was easy enough and not too costly. If a lengthy message arrived we would download everything, sign out, then go back and read off line. Writing was the same. Compose, save, sign in, send. This conserved our minutes as best as we could but we still chewed through them really quick.

Mel and I spent the afternoon lounging by the pool. Mostly asleep. We roused in time to try to make the Grand Cuvee for a sit-down dinner but there was such a huge line-up by the time we arrived we elected to head back to the Ocean View for another kick at the buffet. Good thing, too. They had the Goan Indian fish. And it seemed even hotter than the last time. Probably the same batch that just grew a little in 24 hours.
Brilliant!

Immediately following dinner we headed off to the Silhouette Theatre for our first, big Broadway-inspired show. It was actually very good. They had a lot of the same jazz musicians we had seen previously in other formats, doing the live big band thing. And they were great. That added four, star vocalists, surrounded them with a host of very capable dancers and unleashed the whole thing on a 3-D stage that elevated, telescoped, recessed and morphed 'Every Which Way But Loose'. They served up the major hits from select Broadway shows including Footloose, Grease, Cats and The Phantom, to name a few. All the while we were sucking back on Mojitos. Mmmmmm. Fresh mint. Good for you.

I can't speak to the hours the performers had to adhere to, but you have to believe this is an excellent gig for young talent. Everyone of the performers appeared to be no older than 30. Possibly 25. And they really were very good. So, too, the production and the staging. For a kid just out of school, with accommodation and meals all covered and you get time off in the ports of call to see the world like the rest of us, and get paid for it, it's a pretty good opportunity. I spoke to one employee in Guest Services who said you can actually get on and off ships in different cities if you want to have an extended stay somewhere. You just catch the next ship coming through. Not bad. Not bad at all.

Bed early after the show and sleeping again in no time. Same as home. For the last 18 months. This doing nothing is still exhausting.

Atlantic Crossing - Part Nine

Today the storm continued its assault. The captain spoke on the public address on schedule, at noon, and tells us this will be the worst day of the storm and by tonight it should begin to abate. We hear from a number of people the storm was taking its toll on several passengers. Mel and I never did get the sea sickness patch. Seems gin has the same medicinal effect.

So today was to be another day of rest. Mel took up her station by the indoor pool in the Jaws, with her book, and immediately fell asleep. You just can't help it. You crawl in there and it was like the enchanted field of poppies in the Wizard of Oz. You're gone. Comatose. I stopped by to check in on her on my way to the spa. I was heading for my first hot rock massage, a little apprehensive, wondering what the Hell that entails.

I found the spa. Deck 12, forward. In fact, as forward as you can go. As you waited to be called you were sitting above the bridge with full floor-to-ceiling glass looking out over the bow of the boat as it sailed east. They had you all relaxed on the comfy couches sipping tea and all was completely tranquil. Like a lamb to the slaughter.

A hot rock massage is all about very smooth stones, about the size of your hand, heated in hot water and applied to specific areas up and down the spine. Yeow! When they first landed I thought something must be wrong and I was willing to bet these things were stuck to my skin. Not just hot. DAMN HOT!! But I was thinking these folks must know what they are doing and I didn't want to be the wimp leaping from the table and running down the hall naked, screaming my exposed ass off. Besides, if there's one thing I've learned how to suck up over the last while it's a wee bit o' pain. So I waited it out and tried to focus on the other more pleasant stuff that should begin shortly.

Looking back I now think this bitch was just nasty. Not fond of men?? She wasn't that big but she sure packed a punch. And in no time she is up on the table with what seemed like most of her weight bearing down on my back. I can hear the titanium in my spine doing its click, click, click thing with each exertion she lays on. Not over the top but right to the limit for sure. At first I was thinking that this may have been a mistake. I have had 18 months of physical manipulation by the best in the business and I was never concerned for a minute. Until this.

Things eventually settled down. And after my initial shock, I accepted that I was not going to suffer any permanent damage and began to relax. She took the hot rocks, dipped 'em in hotter oil and used them to apply pressure to the muscles up and down the limbs. I expect I could have told her that she was freakin' me out but I'll admit there was a bit of that manly, macho, I-can-take-anything-you-can-dish-out-baby thing going on. And in the beginning I was right on the verge of "Uncle!!! Uncle!!! FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, UNCLE!!!! for at least the first 10 minutes. Which, by the way, is actually a very long time to have to be freakin' out about something like this. But by the end of the 90 minutes, I think I had relaxed to the point that I had either past out from the pain or I was sound asleep.

Atlantic Crossing - Part Eight

As we departed The Murano dining room we entered the Celebrity Lounge. This was the anteroom to all of the specialty dinning rooms and was the most formal bar on board. It was mostly a lounge with soft seating and subdued lighting creating dark nooks and crannies and often supports the best jazz viewing on the ship. Tonight, as we passed through, there was a trio playing, headed by the music director responsible for all music programs on board. He was the bass player and he was seated, on a stool, sporting an electric upright. He was supported by a drummer and a young lady who couldn't have been more than 25 years old, on piano and vocal. They played the classics and all of them were great.

I snuggle up to Miss Mel, arm around her waist and before you could say Jack Robinson we were scuffling 'round the dance floor to the music. While the place was fairly busy, the patrons were in their seats watching the band. Seems we were alone on the dance floor. All eyes were upon us. I was doing not too bad until the ship rolled, I listed, knocked into Mel and everything went sideways as we slid toward the tables. Without missing a beat, I regained my balance, bowed to the crowd, and with numerous "Thank you's, thank you's," scooped up Mel and, arm-in-arm, scooted out the open door. I don't think any one suspected a thing.

We found our way forward to the Silhouette Theatre. The crowd was gathering and all were taking their seats awaiting the arrival of Le Capitain. We were handed a flute of champagne upon arrival. It was a full house and I do believe the theatre holds about 1,000. The captain and his officers enter the stage. Big round of applause. The captain takes the mike and introduces his seconds. All Greek, including himself. After each introduction --- Head of Engineering, First Officer, Second Officer, Officer of the Night's Watch etc.,etc., --- he would pause a moment then quietly say, "Greek."

He then got to the last officer introduced. I think he was in charge of the treasury or some such thing and following the customary pause he almost whispers, "Not Greek." Seems the Greeks are very comfortable on the water. He then said, "Let us raise a glass in a toast to our voyage and, the good Lord willing, to finding land in under a week"! We drink.

The captain was a very good public speaker. Lots of laughs with the pregnant pauses in all the right places. He was also a very accomplished officer for only being in his 40s. And in command of Celebrities flag ship, no less! He told us he had begun his naval career at a very young age and worked his way to the top. Not all with Celebrity, of course, other than the last 10 years or so.

Mel had had it for the day and so, bidding adieu, headed off to the cabin. I decided I should likely release a wee dram o' the creature from the confines of its flask. And maybe a gar, top deck under the moon-lit skies. Yeah that's the ticket. But it seemed by this time, with the storm raging all around my head, I had forgotten about the one raging out side the boat. Deck 15. Midships.

Hmmmm. Kinda quiet up here tonight. Not many people around. The elevator door opened and the wind almost bowls me over before even stepping out to the deck. I hold on to my hat. Son of a Bitch she's a howling like I ain't never felt. Deck 15 not such a good idea. I recall that someone said there is a smoking area, somewhat out of the elements, on the 12th deck, starboard side, midships. I fight my way back into the elevator before it was "Man Overboard" and I am sucked out to sea.

The 12th deck was not all that much better. I guess outside is outside in a storm like this. But it was partially enclosed with the full height glass to the ocean and deck 14 above. And there were other diehards there looking for the same breath of fresh air. At least here you couldn't get blown overboard. Lighting a match was the biggest issue. Someone from the gallery produces a butane torch. Now that's arriving prepared. The whiskey is as good as ever. The gar 'bout the same and now I was making friends. Crazy people but friends just the same.

I have never felt such a warm strong wind in my life. I was sippin' the whiskey, smokin' the gar, chatting with the comers and goers and all the while you just could not ignore the environment around. Absolutely chaotic in both audio and visual. All the deck chairs aboard were tied down with rope or bungies or they would have been gone. Swept out to oblivion to feed the fish.

The good news was I didn't need an ashtray. The ash never formed. Didn't stand a chance. In fact, it appeared like the gar was being fanned with a bellows the entire smoke. No worries 'bout the gar going out. I hang in the vortex for about 30 minutes then make my way home. Day Two ends about 2:30 a.m. with my Scottish Kit strewn all over the room, the door wide open, the wind continuing to howl and me snuggled in to Mel with a mighty grin from ear to ear.

Atlantic Crossing - Part Seven

Mel and I headed over to the photographer who had set up opposite us on the other side of the atrium to capture the patrons as they passed by. Just hand over your ship card and the rest is painless. At least 'till you have to pay the piper.

Mel and I sidled up and begin performing enumerable calisthenics and unnatural acts for the photographer to work her magic. Sideways, headstands, me on all fours and Mel spurrin' the bull. Etc., etc. Mel looks awesome. Me? Well what can you do with old fat guy? Dress him up in a skirt. Lots of bright colours, flashy buttons and an ornate jeweled sword, all wrapped up in a crisp bow tie and I still look like a soggy mutt. With a grin from floppy ear to floppy ear.

Before it was all said and done, we had the bit of a queue that had formed, the photographer and ourselves in a wee laughing fit. Something about the fat guy in a kilt I think. We move out to dinner.

The Silhouette had four specialty restaurants aboard. In addition to the Ocean View (the buffet) and the Grande Cuvee (the sit-down) you could, for any evening dinner, choose to dine in the exquisite elegance afforded by any of the four. Actually, three for the masses. One of the facilities, The Spa, was reserved for members of the health club. Surprise, surprise --- neither Mel or I ever got around to joining that club. The choices for fine dinning included The Murano, Qsine and TheTuscan Grill.

All of these three involved a flat, additional fee of $40 per couple for attendance, over and above the included free food package offered everywhere else. But as it turns out, this fee is negotiable as you get to know the ship personnel. Tonight we visited The Murano. Classic Italian fare with a French service flair in that they prepared some of the dishes table side. We discovered that the theme of this restaurant as well as the theme of The Tuscan Grill change depending on the destination of the cruise. As we were destined for Rome, both restaurants were providing Italian along the way.

The restaurant was all a bustle yet our seating was quite secluded. Before starting, I requested the sommelier and he arrived in short order. I explained our purchase of the specialty wine package and asked if he would recommend, from our wines available, something that would complement our dinner choices. He was more than pleased to comply.

Mel and I settle in to the decisions confronting us. One is simple. Two, warm-seared, low fat, pate de fois gras, avec une petit morceaux du poire brissee sur le cote. Tremendous. For the primi plat, Melanie settled on a truffle risotto and I elect the diver scallops en croute. The second includes beef tenderloin done three ways pour ma femme and I opt for the sea bass. Yes I know it's endangered. But I figure, some very bad man already killed it, so how much worse could it get? Absolutely delicious.

Then the carte du fromage arrived at table. Mel decided on three hard selections and I go for the opposite end of the spectrum, including one that is sooooo runny and odorous it is remarkable they allowed it on board. This course was paired with a Portuguese 1986 Port. Heavenly.

Somehow the maitre d' knew it was our anniversary. I guess when I booked the cruise way back in December I told somebody and that info found its way months and miles later to our table side. The waiter showed up with an exquisite, triple creme, chocolatey mousse, fudgie-onna-top, cake thingy with Happy Anniversary scripted all over. Of course this, after we had already ordered an orange souffle for our dessert. That arrived all beautifully puffy and somehow hollowed out. They then poured the most exquisite liquidy chocolate sauce into the centre so it erupted up and over and flowed down the sides, surrounding and engulfing all of the inhabitants of the village. So we ate them too.
Delicious.

The waiter and our bus lady approached the table. They congratulated us on 25 years of marital bliss. They then told us they were engaged to be married! They had met elsewhere but soon after decided they wanted to travel the world together while making some money. So they signed on with Celebrity. As we were chatting, the maitre d' and a chef from the kitchen arrive table-side. Quite a crowd was gathering at this point. Turns out, not just any old line chef. This is the head chef d'cuisine pour toute le bateau!!!! And she's a woman from Scotland. When she heard there was a member of the clan in the house that night she had to come out and say hello. I rise from my chair and she said, "No, no please, stay seated." I reply, "How am I to thank you with a big hug for such a spectacular meal from down there in the chair?" Laughs all around. Followed by a very kind hug and we were outta there looking for the next adventure.

Atlantic Crossing - Part Six

Mel arrived and found me in the pod by the indoor pool. She climbed in with a book and we relaxed watching the water flow on by. We'd read. We'd sleep. We'd wake, read again and fall asleep. Most of the morning passed us by in just this way. Eventually I crawled out of the Jaws of Inactivity, as the pod affectionately became to be known, and I spied a masseuse who has set up a massage chair over by the entrance to the spa.

Mel encouraged me to go have a seat. I do and as soon as the shirt comes off the lady sees the scar and asks if there is anything she should be aware of before she gets started. I gave her a brief history and she explains that while they are not set up for physio, a gentle hot rock/ hot oil massage might be just the thing to keep me tuned up.

I got the 10-minute warm-up in the chair and made an appointment for the full-on the next afternoon. I headed back to the Jaws and crawled in with Mel. She was in sound-asleep mode. The ocean was in rolling-by mode and the wind was still in hurricane-blow mode. I sat with the i-Pad and took notes of our adventure so far. I had realized soon enough that I would need to take notes daily of our activity if I were to recall everything. Notes could be banged off quickly. The writing took much longer. I whipped off two days of adventure so far over the remainder of the afternoon.

Eventually it was time to get out of Jaws and start pulling ourselves together for our first dinner in formal attire. Formal because tonight was the captain's official welcoming of the guests. After dinner you had an opportunity to meet and greet the captain following his champagne toast to all aboard, which was conducted in the Silhouette Theatre, fore-ship, decks three and four.

We headed to our state room. All the laundry sent for pressing had returned. Mel dons her most beautiful satin silvery grey chiffon dress and wrastle into my red plaid skirt. Kilt actually. With the vest and matching Prince Charlie jacket. And the sporran. With the flask. For the whiskey. And the dirk. For defence. And the skindu. For when they take away me dirk.

We looked smashing. And that's good because although there is no prize for best-dressed, there are photographers all over the ship tonight ready and willing to take your picture and then your money. We headed out looking for a pre-dinner cocktail. We arrived at the Martini Bar, fifth deck, overlooking the atrium and pulled up two large wing back chairs in view of the band on the atrium floor, deck three.

Mel was in for the Gibson and I went with the Hendricks on ice with olives. There was a four-man, a capella group singing on stage. They were excellent, but not really what the crowd was looking for at a 7 p.m cocktail hour. We listened to the music, sipping our drinks watching the elevators rise and fall like pistons in an engine. All the formal wear stepping in and stepping out. Mostly tuxedos accompanying the most beautiful ball gowns and evening dresses done up to the nines.

We watched a family with two young lads aged 10 and 12-ish, with father and sons all in Scottish Kit, unload from the elevator and approach. Cordial greetings from one clan to another and we learned there are four families on board, all related, with three generations each to celebrate the 50th wedding anniversary of the grandparents. We let 'em know of our 25th and after a short chat, they moved off toward dinner.

The waitress returned and asked if she could refill the Martinis.
"No thank you. But you could refill the flask if you would".
"No problem sir. What would you like in the flask"?
"Irish whiskey"
"No problem sir. We have Bushmills and Jameson."
"Jameson, I think"
"No problem sir"
She returns with the flask in minutes and says, "That will be $30, please. On your room account"?
Yikes! I vow to buy a bottle in the on-board liquor store the next day.

Atlantic Crossing - Part Five

The Ocean View Cafe. Aft, 14th deck. The largest restaurant on the ship. The only sizable restaurant with an exterior component. Fifteenth deck, at the rear of the ship, tapers outward to provide cover for 14, which is a covered terrace and partly open to the elements. Tables at which you can eat, read or write. And soft couches and cushy armchairs with coffee tables. Or, if you prefer, as we discovered, laying down for a quiet afternoon nap on the couches. Much softer than the deck chaises available in so many other areas of the ship and not much in demand. Possibly because all of the time we were mid-Atlantic it just wasn't that warm outside. It's certainly was not where you would want to be when the wind is blowing like it's been blowing so far.

Mel heads to the fresh fruit. Cottage cheese, pineapple, melons of various sorts, nuts and berries. Who was she trying to kid? (Although any time you can avoid all other temptations was absolutely a good thing.) I'm over at the scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage --- two types --- boudin en blanc avec caramelized onions, broiled tomato, mushrooms, (very English breakfast) smoked salmon with chopped egg, capers, minced onion, chopped parsley and lemon AND une petit morseau du pickled herring. 'Cause it's good for you. And should, theoretically, counter all that's bad for you. Right.

Well, you would think after all that, it would be directly back to bed. But no. Mel hopped on the phone and signed up for time in the art studio later that afternoon. I headed to the 12th deck. Midships. To the massively huge, outdoor entertainment facility. Just a detail to clarify for those really keeping track: there is no 13th. For the same old, same old as everywhere else. The 14th deck, outside the Ocean View, aft, had a small staircase down towards the 12th deck midships.

Taking that staircase, you would land smack dab in the middle of the outdoor pools, hot tubs and sun decks. Stay to the outside of the 14th deck, thereby avoiding the staircase, you could walk clear around the entire facility looking down on the recreation area below. Down on to the pools. And there's three total --- two outdoor and one completely enclosed further towards the bow. Finding sun, shade, quiet, busy, indoor, outdoor, with music, or without, is often simply a function of cloudy or not.

At the moment it was not only cloudy but there was a storm raging. Indoor pool best, me thought. There are four hot tubs accompanying the two outdoor pools. The indoor one has two hot tubs. I set up around the perimeter. Up against the floor-to-ceiling glass panels overlooking the sea rolling by are these large, futon-like pods. Each one easily held two people. King-size, and round. And they sat up on a base of teak two feet from the deck, with a beautifully soft mattress and a canvas, telescoping lid, that folds up and down like a shell. You put the lid up and it completely engulfs you on three sides, open only to the ocean view. I swear you could do just about anything you might be so inclined to do in there and no one, anywhere, would be the wiser. Unless of course there happened to be an audio component to whatever it was you chose to do. In which case there was a fire hose cabinet nearby and I expect you'd find yourself doused and blown away by the ship's Fun Police in minutes.

I made my first attempt at getting the WiFi operating so I could Facetime the kids. No go. I realize quickly that WiFi is not something readily available. It was something that you have to pay for. I had a bad feeling that this is going to be another one of those things that just ain't cheap on a ship.

Atlantic Crossing - Part Four

Seeking coffee, I bounced my way down the hall, like a pin ball through the chutes, to the elevator lobby. This first cup was not to be just any old coffee. Any old coffee would mean an elevator ride to the 14th floor. No sireee. This was first morning coffee and I was hunting the good stuff. That meant one flight of stairs down to the Bacachi Cafe, home of Mr.Bean the barista. I learned on my first encounter with this guy that not only did he look to me exactly like Mr.Bean, he was actually called the same by all his colleagues. What a hoot. He and I hit it off immediately, which worked very much in my favour because he not only worked the espresso machine in the coffee bar, he worked the the gin machine in the Sunset Bar as well. But more on that later.

It was remarkable to me that on a ship of 2,500 guests, how so many of the staff could remember what you were interested in drinking at any given time. By the third day this guy knows that I wanted a double decaff, black Americano, no sugar, and Mel wanted the same except with frothed milk. And he would greet me by name and would have the order underway by the time I sidled up. Remarkable.

I picked up my half of the order, sat by the window and downed my first cup while looking out at the vast sea a churning. I was now on the fifth deck but it didn't look much different than the view from my room on the deck above. I then asked to get the order filled again, adding one cup for Mel, and scurried off upstairs to deliver my gal her first of many coffees in bed. Bit of a trick due to the rock and roll of the ship but I used to be a waiter so I arrive with the cups more than half full.

Mel was awake. I filled her in on the ship's status while she filled herself with coffee. Her first order of business was to call the cabin steward to pick up our laundry because of the formal that night! Much of our stuff was crushed from the packing and needed to be straightened. "No problem sir. You need it for the festivities tonight? No problem sir" And off he went.

We had two gentlemen who were our cabin stewards. They look after 20 cabins on our floor. I have no idea how much these guys were paid, but I know it wasn't enough. These guys worked their asses off the entire two weeks. It seems they were there at our beckon call, 24 hours a day. I say seems because we never did call them at 3 in the morning, but I expect if we did the junior of the two would show up. I can say for certain that they were at it from 7AM. until 11PM.

With the laundry out the door we followed immediately there after for our first of many, breakfast buffets in the Ocean View Restaurant.